The Three Best Monty's Of All Time!

I don't know how to add images, but I will figure that out. So, for this post, just pretend. And wikipedia it if you need to. Without any further who-haa rambling, here is my list of the three best Monty's in television and film, in no particular order:

1: Montana "Monty" Max Tiny Toon Adventures

Yes, he was a dick. Yes, he was rich. But if you really want to see a quality music video, it doesn't get any better than his version of "Money (It's what I want)". Also, he produced the best remake of Citizen Kane. Also, I love the way he deals with that uggo Elmyra.

2: Monty Brogan, 25th Hour

Ok, it is a Spike Lee movie. Which I generally hate. Not because I'm a racist, I just think they suck. But if you ever want the definition of a bad ass monologue, just imdb the movie, and read his "fuck you" monologue. Classic. And Edward Norton, who is HoCo like a MoFo, is amazing as a man on his last leg. Fantastic.

3: Monty, Waiting...

I tried, but I could not find a full name for this character. However, it is one of my favorite characters, and movies, of all time. In what is possibly the most realistic movies about the food service industry, we find Ryan Reynolds as a character full of charisma, sex appeal, and just fantastic one liners. I would have sex with Ryan Reynolds in this movie. Possibly the greatest pedophile in film history, outside of "Lolita".

I hope you enjoyed this pointless masturbatory trip through pop culture.


*Author's note: I realize I left out Montgomery "Monty" Burns. Sue me, I wrote this when I was drunk. Welcome to the internet, kids!

Why a blog after years of railing against bloggers?! Boredom.

So, here I sit. I'm in Philadelphia. I know nothing about Philadelphia. I have no car, no money, and the only person I know here is gone. What is one to do, when all the beer has run out? Why, me thinks I'll start a blog! Its brilliant! Is that how you spell "brilliant"? Who cares! It's the internet, bitch! Eff grammar and spelling! WTF! LOL! Other clever internet speak!

What am I going to talk about in said blog? Fuck if I know! The olympics? ...probably not. Although I must say, I was sad to see the Polish women's volleyball team lost. I can't pronounce their names, but they got a shit ton of heart!

On a random aside (he says in a blog) has anyone seen the Jerry Springer show recently? It's always been out there, but holy fuck nuts! I had no idea the literal sideshow Jerry has stooped to! The human torso, balloon guy on stilts, a fucking PUNCH AND JUDY SHOW! I think it's a shame, because Jerry Springer is a really smart guy, and here he is, stuck pawning the lowest forms of human life as television. On second thought, I don't feel bad for him. He's making a fuck ton of money, and he can quit if he wants.

That's all for today, I have to go put this on facebook so everyone can read it and validate me! (just kidding, I'm really just this bored.) More insanity to come later, kids!